When was the last time you woke up feeling like you slept so well that you stretched in bed, smiled, and said, “Wow! I feel so good,”?

If you’re like most women, this was years ago, before you had kids, before your big work promotion, or this might only happen when you’re on vacation, without your daily stress or worries.

I wish every woman slept so well that they feel like they’re on vacation every day. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for many women. For years, I struggled with insomnia, anxiety and depression. I lay wide awake, tossing and turning at three am, frustrated, resolving my friend’s problems and avoiding my own.

This pattern I developed for negative thoughts would spiral into the worst catastrophe. But not everything was negative. I also caught myself being creative after eight p.m. and unable to stop my “Walt Disney brain”. Either way, being awake at three am was frustrating, while my then-partner happily snored beside me.

If you can relate to this, you might wonder how I can make peace with my sleep struggles and enjoy my life in the process.

After seven years on this Sleep Simplified journey, I have learned that fighting yourself and being angry at the world won’t support your beauty sleep. Quite the opposite, it is essential to surrender, stop trying to control others’ lives, make peace with your past choices and sleep struggles.

Here are four simple steps that can help you make peace with your sleep struggles and start your sleep-simplified journey now:

Step 1: Set your destination

Think about planning a vacation. Set a realistic goal. If you only have $100 in your pocket and want to go to Mexico for the summer, it might not be realistic without getting into debt.

The same goes for your sleep. If you’re only sleeping three to four hours a night and your goal is to get eight hours, trying to achieve this goal in a week won't be very realistic, especially if you’re not getting professional support or have been struggling with insomnia for a long time.

Getting an extra 15 minutes of sleep might be more realistic and accessible without adding a ton of pressure. It might not feel like a shiny goal, but trust me, 15 minutes adds up quickly over time.

I have clients who only sleep three to four hours a night and got eight hours of beauty sleep after our initial session, but that wasn’t our initial goal; it was to get five hours of sleep, five days a week, in 90 days.

Step 2: Book your vacation

Now is the time to book your flight tickets, choose your ideal hotel, and reward yourself. Right after setting a goal, I ask my clients to pick an activity or gift they will give themselves.

Celebrating small and big wins helps keep you going when things get tough and helps you focus on your goal. Buying a book, flowers, or getting a massage can be great ways to reward yourself.

I’m currently writing this article while listening to the ocean waves in Los Cabos, Mexico while waiting for my friends to arrive. I booked this trip as a gift to myself after publishing the Spanish version of my book, Sleep Simplified.

If planning a vacation to a Mexican beach or your favorite spot in the world sounds ideal, but you don’t have a budget or time, you can celebrate by going to a Mexican restaurant and eating some fish tacos and setting a long-term goal to help you save for your trip.

Step 3: Pack your bags

Pack your bags as lightly as possible, both in theory and real life. It's time to release your extra baggage, which is not doing you any good.

What tasks, stories, or problems are you carrying that don’t belong to you? Either someone passed them to you, or you kindly volunteered. From personal experience, I can tell you that you will feel much lighter and happier when you release what’s not yours and focus that extra time, money, and energy on the things that bring you joy.

Just like packing to travel for your dream destination, you can also prepare for delays and extra expenses. When you decide to set boundaries at work with family and friends, people might not like it, and you might feel guilty, but please know that is part of the learning journey. Be kind to yourself and trust the process.

Step 4: Upgrade to first class

Good quality sleep is the best investment you can make in yourself. You deserve good sleep and to travel first-class. To achieve this, it is important to make some upgrades in your current situation.

Life upgrades are required, such as adding more money to your savings or getting an extra client to book your dream vacation. Making peace with your past choices and sleep struggles might require more time, money, and energy than you are willing to invest at this time, but starting small and starting tonight is key to getting outstanding results in the near future.

What upgrades can you make to your evening routine, relationships, relationships with yourself, and your beauty sleep? Here are some examples of life upgrades:

Going for a short morning walk to get your melatonin dose at night
Not watching TV or using electronics an hour before bed. Instead, play a yoga nidra meditation before bed to sleep deeper
Learning how to meditate to calm the mind to sleep peacefully
Buy and read a book to help you create a perfect evening routine that fits your lifestyle
Hire a sleep expert to support you in the process of better rest

Sleeping well doesn’t have to be a dream anymore; it can be your reality. You deserve it. Start by taking these steps to sleep to make peace with your sleep struggles. Slowly, work yourself up to upgrading your sleep so that you feel like you're on vacation every single night.

Cheers to beauty sleep.

Avocado hugs,

Monica

Monica Le Baron, MBA, is the award-winning author of Sleep Simplified and a sleep coach who helps high-achieving women go from chronic insomnia to sleeping like queens in 30 days or less. Download her 10-minute yoga Nidra audio to get one hour of rest in just 10 minutes. monicalebaron.com/freeyoganidra

Did you find Monica’s tips useful? Then you will also want to join her upcoming heiter workshop! 6th of February 2025, 7.30pm UK time | 8.30pm CET. The Heiter Society members join for free. Click below to find out more.

Radiator pipes creak and groan. Rain softly taps against the far window. Louder, more singular drops of water fall from the outside guttering, drip-dropping themselves into the forgotten, left-out bucket below. The distant noise of a car engine warming itself up for the day. Heavy breathing to the left-hand side of me. These noises signal one thing. I am awake. I am conscious.

All too quickly, the inner voice inside my head begins to boot itself up. Like a laptop firing to life, I can almost feel the electronic connections sparking between various connectors in my brain.

The all-too-familiar sound of my to-do list and today's schedule begins blurting out. But I’m quick. I catch it. Before momentum ensues.

Pausing, I take a breath and reclaim conscious focus. I want these first few moments of the day to be filled with something other than my pending schedule. In its place, I choose awareness, appreciation, gratitude, and focus. I choose to overwrite my own system.

These first few moments of consciousness are precious. The most precious moments of the day. Before you can even begin to exit from your bed, reach for your journal, press play on your meditation track, unroll the yoga mat, or reach for your morning cup of coffee. Arguably, these first few moments are the most potent minutes of the day.

These first few moments are yours. To be within your own mind, your own thoughts, and your own reality. Just you and your inner self. They set the tone for the rest of your day.

For a long time, one of my biggest blocks was believing that my morning practice was the beginning of my mindfulness practice—the start of applying conscious awareness to my day. And that process began when the pen touched my journal pages, when I was seated in that lotus position, when my morning ritual began. However, a recent epiphany drastically altered this way of thinking.

In the time between getting out of bed, using the bathroom, making a cup of coffee, and saying good morning to your partner and kids, circumstances have already begun to impact your emotional state. And quite often, the reason for this is because we don’t utilise those first few moments of conscious awareness—being awake.

If when you awake and circumstances are pleasing, your children and partner are bumbly and enthusiastic, there are no unexpected occurrences to wake up to, and your coffee tastes good, then your morning ritual would get itself off to a great start. However, if those circumstances were less than desirable, your morning routine would begin as an uphill battle. To claw your way back to a place of gratitude, appreciation, focus, and consciousness.

Whatever your chosen morning routine is, Your go-to spiritual practice. Don’t allow these practices to be the deciding factor as to whether or not your day begins moving in the direction you desire. Instead, think of these as enhancements. Practices that can elevate your state. Because if one morning, for whatever reason, you aren’t able to carry out your chosen practice, this won’t automatically be the deciding factor that determines the quality of your day.

So what can you do to harness the potency of those first minutes of consciousness?

Firstly, begin by catching that wandering mind of yours

As your mind begins to float towards the numerous emails you have to send today—the shopping list, the kids schedule, what you’re going to have for tea, etc.—try to catch it.

The best way to do this is to stop and take a deep breath. Use that breath as a claim. A claim to your own consciousness, to take control back of your focus.

Observe what your habits are. Do you lay in bed and think about all the busy elements of the day ahead and the more stressful tasks?

Do you instantly reach for your phone, checking emails, messages, or social media?

Or maybe you’re awoken straight away by your requests from your family, desiring your time and attention.

It’s helpful to become aware of these habits that have probably just unconsciously formed over time. Becoming aware of them means it is easier to catch them and to stop yourself before making them your first priority.

Set the alarm 10 minutes earlier

5 or 10 minutes is all you need. Set the alarm just a little bit earlier. Ensure you have mental space before you interact with anyone else or before you begin diving into action. Start your day in your mind. You don’t need to get out of bed or do anything else; expect to simply lay in bed with a conscious awareness that you are awake.

Turn your thoughts to more simple thoughts, such as noticing how warm the duvet feels after a full night's sleep. Notice the quality of the light in your bedroom; is it light or dark? Can you tell whether the sun has begun to rise? What do you hear? Birds outside, the sound of commuters already on their way to work—maybe you can hear your family downstairs or the person next to you just starting to stir.

Breathe into these simple observations for a moment. It is these observations that anchor you in the present moment and prevent your mind from contemplating the past or worrying about the future.

Begin to raise your emotional state of being

To fully utilise those first few moments, you want to focus on not just your presence in the moment but on raising your vibration as high as you can. Satisfaction, excitement, and gratitude should be leaching from your pores by the time you step out of bed. This may be what you use your morning practice to achieve, but I want to encourage you to discover how you can get to these types of emotional states without the need for your mat, journal, or transcendental meditation track.

Some of my favourite, easy-to-go-to practices that can all be done while lying in bed are:

Gratitude:

Make a list in your head of 3–5 things for which you are grateful in your life right now. It could be your career, your family, friends, or more simple experiences, such as how good lying in bed feels right now. How rested do you feel after a comforting night's sleep? It can be anything you like, big or small, so long as it helps you exude a feeling of gratitude and abundance.

Listing positive aspects:

Choose someone you love and focus on all their positive aspects. Think about all the things you love about them. Maybe you’re looking forward to seeing them. What will you do together the next time you interact? Where will you go, and what will you say? Use your imagination. This exercise is about getting into a place of love and appreciation for others. Equally, this can be done with yourself and is a fantastic self-love practice to begin your day.

Good old-fashioned daydreaming:

Daydream about your future. Blissfully drift off into pleasant expectations for the future, whether that be for the day ahead or the distant future. Enjoy just basking in the thought process. Revel in the feeling of excited anticipation; feel the smile spreading across your face as you enjoy taking time for yourself just to dream.

Claiming consciousness the moment you wake is your superpower. It can be done anywhere in the world, in any location, and under any circumstance. No equipment is required. Just yourself and your ability to focus. Try grabbing your focus by its invisible horns and begin learning to steer it in the direction of thoughts that will positively impact your day.

Josephine Snowling is a writer, teacher and entrepreneur who shares her own personal truth, understanding and insight of how this reality works and how you can learn to come home to yourself so that you may consciously manifest the life you desire.

Images by tobetold by Lena Kinast for ‘Homecoming’, heiter issue 2. Order the issue now!

How to make peace with your sleep struggles in four simple steps