Home - what does that actually mean?

What do you think? Is home a house, a feeling, a place where you once lived, a place where you’ve never lived, perhaps even a community?

Also, how do you know when you are home?

In April this year I moved back to the UK after living in Thailand for almost 8 years.

When I told people I was returning, they would always reference the UK as my home.

“You’re going back home”.

But I didn’t feel like I was going back home.

I was moving to a town that was new to me, in an area I hadn’t lived in for over 20 years but most importantly, I wasn’t the same person I was 8 years ago when I left the UK.

How could I say I was going back home when I didn’t feel like it was my home that I was going to?

People often think that when you return to your home country after living abroad, you just slot right back in, but I didn’t feel that way.

Living abroad changes you.

You change how you act, speak, what you eat, your daily routines and your relationships.

You live life differently.

When I arrived in the UK I didn’t want to just slot right back in. And what was I really slotting back into?

Friendships I had before I left the UK had shifted, understandably. As we all walk new paths and realise that some friends are in our lives for a season. And that’s ok.

The places I used to go to before, felt different, because I was different.

I worked in a different industry and had very different values.

I didn’t slot back into any of my previous UK life. This was a new chapter.

So 3 months in, does the UK feel like home again? I’m pleased to say, yes, it does. 

What I quickly realised was that home isn’t a physical place to me, it’s the feeling of being home that helps me call a place home.

So what does this feeling actually feel like?

It’s the joy in your surroundings.

It’s the familiar smells and sounds.

It’s the same faces, a community.

It’s noticing the small things that you only really notice after the tenth time.

It’s the routines and the barista who knows your coffee order.

For me a routine has been a vital part of the ‘feeling of being home’. I am lucky to live one road away from the coast and enjoy walks along the beach almost everyday - something I did every morning in Thailand. I regularly go to a Crossfit gym not just for fitness but for the community. I journal daily, explore local cafes and enjoy the sunshine as much as I can.

This all helps me to create the feeling of being home.

But there’s been one anchor statement that has helped me in times of doubt and missing (my Thailand) home:  Trust in the process.

You can’t ever be certain how you’ll feel coming home. Even if it’s returning to a house you lived in for 25 years, a new city that you’ve researched endlessly and you're confident it’s your vibe or a place that just sounds exciting.

What we can be certain of is trusting in the process that it’s possible to create the feeling of being home.

It may take one year, one month or maybe just one day, but you’ll get there and if you ever feel like you’ve lost that feeling I’ll leave you with one thought…

Home really is where your heart is, and that is right here, in this moment.

Kat Amey is a Life Coach who helps people ditch conventional ideas of success and create a life that feels uniquely purposeful. Through understanding their values, she helps her clients figure out what success really means to them and then take steps to make it happen. Kat also hosts wellbeing workshops and retreats in the UK.

Main image by Ellie Letch, coffee image by Anna Considine from Studio Gently.

Did you enjoy this piece on finding home? Then you might also like our current “Homecoming Issue” (heiter print issue 2). You can find it here.

How I Stopped Chasing Work-Life Balance and Found a Better Way to Live

Rethinking Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance. How many times have you heard that phrase, and what feelings does it evoke in you? The idea of balance is often depicted as a scale—two weights on either side, needing to be perfectly equal to maintain equilibrium. Or perhaps a seesaw, where two people of the same weight must keep each other level.  

But how realistic is it to achieve “true” work-life balance based on this metaphor? Not just for a fleeting moment—but to actually maintain it?  

I stopped chasing this kind of balance when I had my second child ten years ago. Up until then, I had worked hard to keep everything in check—my career, my personal life, and my time with my firstborn. But when my second child arrived, the delicate balance I had so carefully built completely unraveled. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about managing work and home life, but also ensuring both children received equal attention. I even found myself keeping mental score—playing extra games with Play-Doh to “make up” for a day when the baby had been unsettled. Thinking back on it now, I can’t help but laugh.  

Add in a long work to-do list, and my idea of work-life balance flew straight out the window.  

A Different Approach to Balance

So how do we manage it all? How do you run a business or hold a job, stay present with family and friends, and still make time for your health and wellbeing?  

Let me share the simple shift that has become my lifeline.  

I stopped dividing my life into separate categories. Instead of splitting my time into “work,” “family,” and “health,” I now see my life as one whole. I no longer separate work tasks in my calendar or make distinct work to-do lists—I create life to-do lists and prioritise from there.  

A typical Tuesday in February might look like this:  

• Workout  

• Meeting with a supplier  

• Doctor’s appointment with my eldest daughter  

• Budget meeting  

• Write newsletter  

• Daily walk during my youngest’s dance lesson  

• Pay bills  

This approach has created so much more space in my life. It has made planning and prioritising easier, and most importantly, it has helped me recognise that my “mum duties” and “health goals” are just as important as my “work tasks.” If I have a doctor’s appointment or a school meeting, I don’t overload my list with too many other commitments.  

I’ve also learned to make better use of transitional moments. When I’m waiting at dance class, I bring my walking gear and go for an hour-long walk—regardless of the weather. Sometimes, I use this time to reflect on a blog post I’m writing, to think through a problem, or simply to allow my mind some well-deserved white space.  

Your Life as a Whole

As women, as mothers, as people, it’s easy to compartmentalise our lives—to separate our roles and have them compete against each other, leaving us feeling as though we’re never doing enough in any area.  

But what if we saw life as a whole? What if we treated our time as sacred? Work can happen on a park bench while the baby sleeps. Family time can take place during an event you genuinely want to attend. Movement can happen in the parking lot behind the football field.  

Perhaps it’s time we stop trying to balance it all—and instead, redefine work and focus on our whole life. END 

Alexandra Nash is a dynamic leader, entrepreneur, and mother with a remarkable journey. She has founded and sold multiple businesses, worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs worldwide, and previously served as a tech CEO and business owner. Currently, she is the Head of Sustainability and holds multiple board positions.

Passionate about creating impact, Alexandra founded the social enterprise Yuhme and contributes to Ndara ti Beafrika. She also volunteers as a mentor at NyföretagarCentrum, supporting new entrepreneurs in their journeys. As the writer of the Substack publication The Diary of a Sustainability Advocate, she brings important conversations to the forefront.

Beyond her professional achievements, Alexandra is a former Swedish World Cup swimmer—demonstrating her drive, resilience, and dedication in all areas of life.