If you are one of the heiter newsletter subscribers, you might remember that only a few months back I had reached a point where I found it hard to find my own heiter moments. With two kids at home, several sick days (for both my kids, but also my husband and I) and hardly any time for my work and myself, I found myself worn out, de-motivated and lonely. The work/life routine I had created when we only had one kid was gone - which meant no more hot drinks in peace, baths, listening to audiobooks whilst tidying up the house and consistent working hours (for those of you who don’t know me: I love work and all the creativity that comes with it. I don’t need much of it but if I can’t do it at all, I don’t feel like myself). Due to a new living situation, we didn’t have the privacy we were used to. My husband and I seemed to have no time for ourselves anymore and seeing friends was rare. As a result of all of the above, I found myself feeling physically and mentally drained.

At the beginning of the year I set myself a goal: I wanted to find more heiter moments again. I’ve always been a firm believer that Heiterkeit (which is German for joy/the noun that comes with heiter) is attainable. Also, it comes with far lower expectations (therefore less pressure), and it is personal and unique: Heiterkeit depends fully on an individual and the situation they are in. For some reason I had forgotten that in my own life. I was upset, worn out and mourned the heiter moments I managed to integrate into my everyday before we had two kids and lived in our previous home. I wanted to get out of that rut. After some reflecting and re-evaluating I realised that re-defining my heiter moments and making them fit for my new situation could be the solution I was looking for. It worked! However, that meant lowering my expectations (even more), acceptance of more imperfections in my life and letting go off some of the things that usually bring me comfort. Here are a few examples of how that now looks:

The peaceful cup of coffee that I used to enjoy by myself is now a simple cup of coffee - often made by my husband so that I can sip it (quickly) whilst the kids wake up and take over our bed.
Longer baths (that I had now and then when kid one was at daycare) are now replaced with quick showers when the baby naps. They only take few minutes but I make an effort to use products that I love and are good for my body. That way I get the best out of these few minutes.
I get dressed! I make sure to do so in clothes that I love and bring me joy. This little routine keeps me connected to my inner self, and it reminds me that I am still Kiki, the girl that used to work in fashion and had fun with her clothes (even though I am a mum in her mid thirties now). I document my daily looks and share them in the stories of my personal IG profile if you’d like to have look.
Phones away during dinner: that way I can catch up and connect with my husband, even on the days where we don’t have any time to ourselves.
I try and meet a friend for coffee or lunch once a week (and just take the baby along). I often combine that with going to a cafe or restaurant I always wanted to visit. Now and then that coffee out is replaced with an online coffee date which is fun too. That way I can catch up with friends/business pals that do not live close by.
I planned a festival themed birthday weekend away with a few close friends and my family (see photo). I am aware that that is not something everyone can do but I really wanted to do it and made it work.
I ignore the endless piles of washing around me as much as I can.
I work with an app that allows me to plan and cook healthy meals for myself and my family. I can create shopping lists with that app too. That way I still get to cook (which is something I enjoy) but I don’t spend lots of time on it.
My husband takes the kids out for two hours a week so that I can work a bit. My aunt watches the kids for an hour on Tuesdays so that I can join a group coaching call - and I make an effort to join all heiter sessions (which are workshops and gatherings for our readers), even if that means bringing the baby along. All of that helps me to continue focusing on my business.

My life often feels chaotic and messy but as you can see in the examples above, I’ve managed to take what I’ve got and find Heiterkeit in it. I know that this phase in my life won’t last forever and that there will be times where I will have the chance to add more (and longer) heiter moments to my everyday again. Right now, I am trying to be grateful for what I’ve got and fully enjoy it. It has made such a big difference and I am happier again. I have more energy. Last but not least, I am kinder to myself which allows me to be closer to the mum, wife, business owner and friend I want to be.

What I would like to say by sharing the above? No matter the situation you’re currently in, you can find Heiterkeit. Life is an unexpected journey and we never know what it will throw at us. We can however, be open to the fact that joy is achievable and that it is round the corner if we invite it in. We can shift our focus and celebrate the things that bring us joy, even though there is chaos around us. Joy can look different and might not work the same way for each phase of our lives but it exists and we can find it. We just have to be willing to adapt, lean into what we’ve got and fully embrace it. If I can do it, you can do it too.

Be heiter!

Katharina Geissler-Evans is the founder & editor-in-chief of heiter. If Katharina doesn’t write, curate and talk about all things heiter, she spends a great deal of her time with community work, advocating for sustainable fashion choices and exploring different aspects of joyful living. Katharina, who describes herself as “a multi-passionate creative”, lives with her husband and their two kids in an old farmhouse in Austria.

Image by tobetold

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The pace at which we decide to undertake an activity can directly affect our mood and our enjoyment of an experience.

But how do we decide whether to slow things down or speed things up?

Firstly let’s look at the impacts of intentionally choosing a slower pace.

Slowing down has become a very focused upon idea, especially in wellness and spiritual communities, and with good reason.

Slowing our pace can help us to focus in on the activity at hand. It allows for a deeper appreciation of the process and our internal state of being whilst undertaking an activity. When we breathe slowly and deeply, we calm our nervous system and help to reduce the excess noise in our heads, allowing the mind to still, our resistance to subside and our vibration to rise. This replicates the goal of meditation and explains the phenomenon we call ‘flow state’ where the process of focusing in on a particular activity (usually something we are very familiar with or something monotonous) allows us to fall into a meditative state.

In my opinion, slowing your actions is the easiest choice if you want to play around with pace. This is because in most cases, slowing our pace has the greatest impact when it comes to reducing stress, especially when we find ourselves rushing around or our thoughts becoming frantic.

You may be thinking then that surely slowing our pace is the obvious option and why would we want to increase our pace, when if we can place enough focus and attention on a chosen activity, we can slip into a meditative state.

But as you’re about to read, increasing your pace can provide just as much benefit and pleasure as slowing your pace.

Unfortunately the idea of living a fast paced life has earned itself a bad reputation and we have come to associate an increase in speed with burnout, stress and even a lack of consciousness.

However, I believe that the reason an increase in speed has so many negative connotations is because more often than not, we speed up our actions out of habit or because we feel we have to.

I’m sure you have examples from your own life where you feel rushed to get out of the door in the morning or to do all the chores before you feel like you can actually relax. All these activities are sped up not through choice or intentionality but due to a feeling of obligation.

We also fall victim to the incredible power that is momentum and when we are in an undesirable mindset, one of frustration, fear or anxiety, feeling the force of momentum in these states can be a very unenjoyable process.

It takes approximately 16 seconds for the Law of Attraction to attract to you a thought similar to the thought you were just thinking. This is why meditation or napping is so recommended because what you are actually doing is slowing your momentum.

We have all experienced those days when everything just seems to go wrong, one thing after another. The reason for this is because we have become stuck in the momentum of negative thoughts and ultimately attracting experiences through emitting a negative vibration.

But if we get ourselves into a place of alignment, where we align our thoughts and our emotions with ones that reside in a positive vibration, then feeling the momentum and experiencing first hand the fast pace that is Law of Attraction, can actually become an exhilarating experience, one with no burnout in sight.

So the key to enjoying a faster pace is to take control of our thoughts, to remain in that meditative state whilst our pace increases. This will not only give us a feeling of thrill and exhilaration but our accuracy will also remain intact.

A good example of this is a professional sports player or athlete. I always think about this when I watch Roger Federer playing tennis. He is able to move his body with speed and accuracy, all whilst remaining calm and in complete control and this is how he makes it look effortless.

This effortless state, performed at high speed, is one that we can tap into, even in our everyday lives and doesn’t have to be reserved for elite sports players.

To do this we must become well acquainted with our own inner landscape. This is where playing around with our pace can benefit us enormously. If we feel frantic, anxious or irritated, this is our cue to slow our pace, to bring ourselves back into a more grounded state of being.

And when we feel comfortable and stable in this grounded state, this is when we can deliberately choose to increase the pace, all the while keeping a check on our emotions, as these are our ultimate indicator of whether our pace is too much. And if we feel ourselves slipping back into those negative thoughts and the momentum taking us (creating one negative experience after another), we can drop back into stillness until we find ourselves effortlessly riding the wave, increasing and slowing our pace as required.

There are certain activities which you can use to really test this out in your own life, to play around with and explore the effects of pace and ultimately find on any given day which pace increases your Heiterkeit (which is the noun that come with heiter) of an activity:

Dancing

Cleaning, tidying, cooking, everyday activities

Making love

Exercise: slower paced activities such as yoga vs fast paced HIIT workouts

Work activities: conversations, general work pace, presentations

Music: what effects do different paced pieces of music have on your emotional state?

Even meditation can be a great container for playing around with pace. Whilst meditating, you could choose to remain in a slower state, focusing on slowing your thoughts and breathing or once you are in that grounded state you could choose to try something like a rampage of appreciation.

This process was first coined by Abraham Hicks and if you’ve ever listened to one of these performed by Esther Hicks, you will know how fast they are (type in Abraham Hicks rampage of appreciation into YouTube to get the full experience).

So you could choose to listen to someone else carrying this out (Michael Beckwith is another fantastic motivational speaker) or you could do your own. A rampage of appreciation is simply saying or thinking words of affirmation, describing your thoughts and feelings around a particular subject, all with an undertone of appreciation and excitement. Once you get started and into that flow state you will experience first hand attraction at a pace of 16 seconds and witness how quickly the momentum will take you.

Remember, there is no right or wrong pace to undertake anything, all is personal preference depending on your current state of consciousness and vibration. What works one day, might not the next, the enjoyment comes from playing around with this until you find your sweet spot.

Josephine Snowling is a writer, teacher and entrepreneur who shares her own personal truth, understanding and insight of how this reality works and how you can learn to come home to yourself so that you may consciously manifest the life you desire.

Image by James Lee (via Unsplash)

Choosing joy: little steps to help find my way back to Heiterkeit

To slow down or speed up? How pace can help create moments of joy.